Mending Relationships

Part of being in Grand Rapids is mending relationships that are messed up in my life. Two days ago my brother danny and I had a converstation I have been waiting to have for years. It was epic. I feell inspired...and in my inspiration I sent Joseph...the one that stole my heart with out my knowledge....I hope that someday it will be ok with him and I but I have finally realized I do not have control.

This is the message:

i texted you but you don't tend to respond...which is ok...given our history and all. i am currently in grand rapids getting my life together..so to speak. that mainly means making money, and being highly involved in my fathers church. i will be back in january. anyways...the sermon this sunday was on forgiveness. the pastor spoke of how we cannot recieve Christ's forgiveness unless we are giving forgiveness. Jospeh I am not sure that I am mad at you or that I am secretly harboring mean feelings towards you. I think that the sermon just reminded me that I needed to mend something that fell apart along time ago. And dear friend that does not mean being best friends again or really even communicating often. It simply means that we are connected by the blood of Christ, the gracious, powerful, unending love of our Savior. And knowing that I must tell you I am sorry. I am sorry for all that went wrong and all that I screwed up. You were truly a good friend. Joseph you were the first person that taught me that I am loved as I am...thank you so much. you need not respond to this. I just needed to tell you that I love you..and nothing will break that. Because I love you with the unfailing, fervent, lavish love of Christ. Upon seeing you at the wedding I realized that you were happy...so i distanced myself for fear I would somehow screw it up....which is silly i know..anyways at the wedding I caught a glimpse of the friend i fell in love with (platonically mind you) and i was so happy and saddened that I could not be apart of it...apart of you furthering the kingdom. Jospeh you can do this....i know you so well and you are equipped because you have the Lord on your side and He does not fail. so enter this new phase of your life with that in the front of your mind....HE CANNOT FAIL...and that doesn't mean you will become a doctor or that you will do what you expect...it just means he will use you for anything you choose to do...and that my friend is more epic than surgery...and the Lord is good. I can only hope and pray that someday our wounds will heal and transform our minds to fully be honest friends...until then.
love,annie holladay

"if we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to eachother"

-mother teresa